Florida, here I come!

Final Entry December 9th-11:01pm

Yet another case solved by my magnificent detective skills. All is now right with the world now that Jerry the mouse has been discovered and successfully recooperating in the hospital. Ironically, the case will go no furthur because Jerry the mouse, finally able to speak, has decided not to press any charges against the young Tyke. After hearing the news I personally decided to go down there and ask Jerry why he decided on this path. When he told me he did not have enough money to pay for the lawyer I did not quite understand because he is a huge movie star. However, when I visited the crime scene one last time to clear the tape, I found a closet full of cheese, and all the parts seemed to connect.

Now that this case is finally over, I am going to officially turn in my badge and resign from the business of detective work. After I finished this case I was feeling very confident in myself, however, the next case that came to my doorstep was the case of Mojo Jo Jo vs. the Power Puff Girls and I knew right then and there, I was done. When cartoon characters are the only clients I can get and now I am faced with a giant evil monkey vs. three little girls, I know it is time for Florida. Therefore, I bid thee good day and if you need me, please do not call me because I will not answer. Thank you and good night.

Entry Ended-11:07pm

Tom+Jerry=Friends

Of course everyone is loving the fact that the little mouse will return home soon. Honestly, I can’t say that I’m not excited as well. I mean, since he went missing, I’ve had nothing to do all day. I tried cleaning myself, playing with yarn, napping, and more, but those only lasted for about an hour. I have but one thing to say to Tyke: good job. I don’t say this because of the fact that he buried the mouse alive and started this whole crime scene, but I sincerely owe a “congrats” to him for being able to successfully capture Jerry: something I have not been able to do all my life. Also, I must say to Spike that he has not to worry. When Jerry returns, I might give a little “hello, cheese-face” to the mouse, and of course I will continue tormenting him after about 24 hours. However, I have no intention of hurting him. Like I said before, deep down I sort of love the little guy. What would I do in life without him?

I am so happy that my cousin, Jerry is alive and breathing but what am I to do to Tyke.  I can’t do anything to that cute little bugger I am a tuff guy but I just can’t pick on little kids.  It is his father turn to teach him, as my father taught me.  I guess all I can do is to be happy that my cousin is alive.  Tons of Jerry’s friends and fans come in and out to see him it is an amazing thing I just can’t get over that such a tiny mouse made such a difference in so many people’s life.   So today I joined my friend Kimbo Slice on his team of EliteXC for mixed martial arts fighting and also joined his security guard company which works for Reality Kings a pornographic site.  I hope to change many people’s lives working for these companies.  The only problem I see is with the fighting I will be doing is that it will be hard to find someone in my weight class of 8lbs.  I will be amazing at it though because I have a black belt, in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and one in shoot wrestling. Thanks to Jerry my life has been turned around I am now planning on shaping up and not getting into random fights, or drift from job to job. The pornographic site gets thousands of hits a day I will be making a lot of money doing both and it will be a great way to make money.  I am upset with what happened but I am glad of the outcome. When Jerry gets out of the hospital I will book a flight to Miami and meet who I will be working for and when my first fight is. 

Now Everything Makes Sense...

Wow...my own son...I never thought I would see the day. I look back and thought of all the time I've spent with Jerry and all the time I didn't spend with my own pup. This explains his outlandish and quite bully-ish behavior in school. The principal, Mr. S. Doo, had called me several times over the past few weeks that he had been "acting out". Mr. Doo said he had been "marking his territory" all over the school grounds and biting his fellow classmates. It didn't make any sense at the time, why my little Tyke would be acting in such a manner. But now, it's all clear...
I confronted my boy last night about the matter, and it was one of the most dreary conversations I had ever had. I asked him why he did it, and the only response he could give me was that he just couldn't take it anymore. He just had to bury something. Apparently, just chasing his tail and burying random household items just didn't satisfy him anymore.
I want to apologize for my son's actions and to his family and friends. Tom, I owe you a special apology for blaming you this whole way through. I'm sorry...But seriously, if I catch you going after Jerry one more time, I'mma bury you in the backyard, and you ain't leavin' unless it's in a bodybag.
Once again...terribly sorry, Jerry...

Jerry the Mouse: FOUND BURIED ALIVE

Cat&Mouse Today

December 8, 2008- The little brown mouse, known as Jerry, has been found buried alive in the backyard of his and his friend Tom’s house. The detective who has been working on the case made the discovery of a small print in the backyard. Next to this print, less than one foot of dirt, was the victim. Jerry was immediately flown to Cheddar Hospital, were he is still currently located, with severe dehydration and a concussion. Hospital workers have said Jerry’s health is improving day by day, and they are looking at dismissing him by the end of the week. Muscles, Jerry’s cousin, was found at the hospital. Muscles expressed great relief as he stated, “I am so relieved that my cousin is alive. I will be by his side till he leaves the hospital.” The public expressed their excitement in hearing about the finding of Jerry. Many flowers and balloons were sent from all over the country to the hospital.
The detective has finally agreed to speak with Cat&Mouse Today. She has exclaimed, “Through my own detective work I’ve figured out who the true suspect is. I am proud to say that is neither of the suspects the public has been accusing.” Due to the small dog print found next to were Jerry was buried, and more evidence, the bull dog, Spike’s little son, Tyke is now being accused of the attempted murder of Jerry the mouse. The reason behind this has not been announced, but rumors from anonymous sources have been saying that maybe Tyke was jealous over his father’s love and friendship for Jerry. For any breaking news on the case please visit our website at www.cat&mousetoday.com .

Brilliance at its finest...

December 7th-7:09pm

Since my brilliant discovery of Jerry the mouse, it took all of about 5 minutes for it to be all over the press. Naturally this gave a large opening for each of the three suspects to jump in and immediately go on the defensive. Now one could assume this would be a simple case now that Jerry is alive, however, he is in the hospital and not able to speak as of yet making my job once again, more difficult. However, not as many detectives are as clever as I and it is I who knows who the real crimnal is.

It was a quite simple case when I really started to think about it. I narrowed it down to three suspects and through careful deduction, narrowed it down to the real culprit. First suspect is of course Tom the cat. He has more than just one motive to want Jerry gone considering he spends his entire life in Jerry's shadow and attempting to eat him. However, if Tom ever really suceeded, what would he have to do with his life? The answer is nothing and this is precisely why he would never actually rid himself of Jerry, not to mention that if he wanted him gone, eating him would have been much easier and harder to find evidence. Therefore the "far from genius" cat is off the hook. Next suspect is the peculiar little mouse they call Muscles. I suspected this mouse from the beginning because he never really had an alliby and considering Jerry was a TV star and Muscles' hat was left at the crime scene, made me suspect perhaps he got Jerry out of the picture so he could move into the spotlight. This theory was foiled when I relaized a mouse that size (not even one names Muscles) could dig a hole that deep and he does not seem to have any friends so no one could have helped him dig the hole. Therefore Muscles was off the hook as well. The final suspect is Spike the Bulldog who I was certain committed the crime when I dismissed the other two as suspects. However, it was not Spike either. That large oaf would not have been able to dig a hole so deep and precise without ruining it with his "largeness" halfway through. No, this hole was created by someone with the same motives and the same build, just in a minature size.
The real criminal is none other than Tyke, Spike's son. Why he committed such a treachorous act has yet to be discovered, but all the evidence points to him: the little pawprint, perhaps a jealousy that his dad may love Jerry more, or maybe to make his dad proud that he was becoming a strong bulldog? I am sure we will be finding out shortly because the ratty, annoying newspaper lady is standing right outside my door. I see no reason to fight her anymore.

Entry Ended- 7:35pm

Um...hooray?

Well, well, well, the little thing’s alive. I am just so thrilled. Of course, it was very interesting to have the police and detectives and ambulance people all swarming my house. I got so scared I had to hide under the couch. When I heard yelling, though, I made my way to the backyard where everyone was rejoicing and holding the mouse in the air. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m happy he’s alive, and at least now he could tell the police himself who has committed this crime of burying him in a box. And like I said before, it wasn’t me! How convenient though that the detective found a dog’s paw print next to the hole. And everyone didn’t believe me when I said that mutt had something to do with it. I think that I deserve a little reward for this occasion…possibly a new ball of yarn to play with. But anyways, I’m a nice guy, and even though I won’t be visiting Jerry in the hospital I’ll be awaiting his return home so I could have some more fun with the little cheese-lover.